Wild Wild World

“What a wild wild world we live in,

Where money talks and trouble sells.”

It’s been a long day today. It’s been a long month since I last wrote. 

Katie and I got into another serious argument. We didn’t talk for two weeks. At the PVRIS show she drove me insane with her complaints and I snapped at her. I apologized but I didn’t mean it. 

Once again I caved. It’s not like I’ll ever have to spend an extended amount of time with her again. I won’t. It’s a breath of fresh air. 

I’m so close to 178 days clean. I’m 177 today and even though it was rough today, I never felt the urge to self harm. I’m so proud of where I’ve come from. 

Besides that, I had one of the hardest days since my grandma died and Paris was attacked. 

There was a shooting outside a venue in Orlando last night. Christina Grimmie died. At first we heard she was injured, but then she died. I wasn’t even a fan, but I cried a long time last night. It hurt my heart.  

It hurt because that could have been Fall Out Boy, it could have been Pierce the Veil, my god it could have been Austin. Just thinking about it right now makes me anxious. 

Concerts are my safe place. My wasteland, my only retreat. The place where I can forget about everything and sing at the top of my lungs with people who love those people on stage just as much as me. 

I don’t want one of my favorite life-experiences to be tainted like this. I don’t want to be scared about going to my safe space. We shouldn’t be scared. 

Don’t be scared. Live your life to its fullest. God always has a plan for us. 

“Maybe it’s time to tame the monster inside of that wild, wild world we live in.”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s