Bloodshot

Everything has been a little radio silent recently and I’m sorry for that. Honestly? It’s just been crazy busy.

I got to meet Simple Plan last month and see Andrew McMahon perform for the first time and it’s just been a month of new music and growth and good things so far.

I won tickets off the radio for Simple Plan and got to meet them. They were amazing and super nice. Not many bands manage to put me at ease so I don’t feel awkward around them, but Simple Plan did. They remind of Set It Off the way they joke around and tease each other. Three weeks later, I won tickets from the venue to see Andrew McMachon. I was stunned by how incredible and talented he was. I loved Something Corporate and Jack’s Mannequin, but his solo stuff is amazing as well. He just puts on great show.

I also got to see Star Trek. There were just so many feelings. I definitely cried about Anton. A lot. I miss him already. It sounds ridiculous, but I fell in love with that cast back in 2009. Chris, Zach, Karl, Anton, John, Zoe, and Simon are some of my favorite actors. They are like my children, I followed their careers and went to see their movies/watch their tv shows.

Losing Anton was like losing a part of my heart. The movie did him justice though and that was what I needed.

I got moved into my apartment finally and I start school next week. I can’t wait. I still have to completely get everything unpacked before we start school, but it’s really exciting to be living in a new place.

I’ll be back to update you again soon!

xoxo

J

 

Wild Wild World (part 2)

Just hours after my last post, the Orlando Pulse Club Shooting broke the news. Emotionally I was already drained, but then this news was there and I was sobbing in my bed on a Sunday morning. 

The original count as I pulled myself together was 25 people. By the time I checked my phone after Sunday school, it was 49. I wanted to cry all over again. Someone had walked into that LGBT club with the intent of killing those people.

I’d never felt fear and anger like that before. Afterwards, I got off social media for almost the entire week. It helped. I needed a breath of fresh air from all the death and sadness online. 

Then this past Sunday my world was shattered. Anton Yelchin, my Chekov, died in a freak accident at his home. I lost it; I’m not going to lie. I spent that night sobbing in my bed and the next one watching Star Trek 2009 and crying. It was tough. 

I had never even considered that he wouldn’t be here for the premiere. This was the first celebrity death that truly broke me. 

On top of that, my friends literally went radio silent when I talked to them about it. Sarah seemed confused I was so upset and Katie said she was also upset but then never sent me a message back. I was hurting and it was silent. 

I don’t know what I wanted them to do, but it was more than this. Space, I always wanted, but silence was not the answer. And our group chat went silent for days. 

I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to make friendships last. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I can’t keep dwelling on it anymore. 

I move into a new apartment in a week and start orientation in about a month and a half. I’m so excited for pharmacy school and I can’t let this bring me down from that. 

I know everything will get better. 
xoxo 

J

RIP Anton Yelchin 1989-2016