Critical

I blogged about my feelings on concerts earlier today. I just had to get it out after I read Sare’s blog post and realized just how true it was. I’ll probably post it this weekend.

This is more of an update though. It’s just so weird to know I’m about to close a chapter of my life. I graduate in less than two months. I go to pharmacy school in five months. I’ll be living in an apartment, taking care of myself.

It’s mindblowing and nerve wrecking. I’ve built a place for myself in college right now and I don’t know if I’m ready to let it go.

Katie, Sarah, and I have been struggling a little bit, but I expected it. Sarah didn’t come back to school this semester so she lost her campus job. She still hasn’t found another one. Right now her boyfriend is paying her bills because she can’t even afford rent.

It’s annoying because I really don’t like her boyfriend either. He loves her, but I don’t think he’s in love with her.

It’s rough and I’m worried because Katie and I are graduating and leaving her. I’m going to pharmacy school and Katie’s going to grad school in Philadelphia.

Katie hasn’t changed much either. Still abrasive, still blind about how mean she can be. It isn’t new.

She’s been upset about not dating anyone  lately and it’s wearing on me. A couple of nights ago we were talking about it and she was talking about discussing the fact that she was single with her parents. She complained that she was the only single one in her circle.

I just looked at her because I’m single too and she just shrugged and said “You don’t count.”

….

It was startling. I really didn’t like that at all. Honestly though, I expected it from her at this point and it’s not surprising.

On other subjects, we’re having to sell my grandmother’s house and I’m pretty devastated that I can’t go visit one last time. It hurts and I know that it will get better, but right now it hurts.

I’m sure it colored a lot of my week, and my emotions. I feel like I’ve been pretty short with people and a little depressed this week. I just want to go home, hug my family, and eat food. It’ll be nice.

 

xoxo

J

 

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