Give Me Faith

It’s really odd when you realize that you and your friends may never see eye to eye on some of the most important things in your life.

I’m Christian. I’ve been saying it for years, but I still am not sure if I really meant it all that time. Especially my past few years.

I got clean when I started this blog, and I relapsed last week. I knew it could happen, but I’ve cleaned up again. It’s starting to show me why they call things addictions. You have to almost relearn everything all over again and it sucks.

I haven’t mentioned it to Katie (even though I live with her), because I know she will think it’s ridiculous. She says that she’s Christian, but the way that she acts would dispute that. She would argue me until we were both hoarse about Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.”

We talked about it today, how the word submission has gotten such a bad connotation. It’s not meant to be demeaning. God doesn’t mean it like the world has portrayed it. I realize that, but Katie is so deep on the feminism train that she shut me down (pretty viciously) when I tried to talk to her about it.

And don’t get me wrong. I’m all about equality. The wage gap is a very real thing. The violence against women is a very real thing, but the Bible is also a very very real thing, and you can’t just pick and chose what you want. She can’t just share all her favorite verses on love and mercy and disregard the rest. It’s not how it works.

I’m not saying I’m better than her. I’m just stating that I’ve started to understand this idea. The Bible is all or nothing. Jesus is all or nothing. You have to be all in.

We also talked about marriage today and I thoroughly enjoyed it.Even though I am single, and have been almost my entire life, hearing all of this about marriage makes me hopeful for the amazing, Godly man that God has chosen for me. My pastor also talked about those living together, and having any sexual contact before marriage. He said one word: Don’t.

Don’t live together before you’re married, Don’t have premarital sex. Don’t. And Sarah is doing both of those. I don’t say anything to her about it anymore, because when I did, she told me that they planned on getting married. But that’s not married.

I don’t know. Obviously no one is perfect. I’m not perfect. But I just want better for them.

I don’t know. I’m just going to pray about it. It’s all that I can do.





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